I’m a single guy. So I’ve tried out a couple of the free Internet dating sites. I’ve started dozens of conversations and even met and dated a few of the women that I’ve met online. It’s a whole new world. Of course there are pros and cons, but there are also a few things I hate about Internet dating.
Let’s start out with the good stuff: Internet dating has made it easier than ever for people to meet. I have a busy schedule. I’m a single dad with a full-time job. I don’t have much time to go out to meet new people. With Internet dating, I can simply login, create a search that meets my criteria, and start clicking on profiles and sending messages.
That’s about where the good stuff stops. With the ease that comes with Internet dating, there are many complications.
5 Things I Hate About Internet Dating
- Profiles are limiting: Creating an online profile for meeting others is challenging. First, many people hate writing about themselves and barely say anything at all on their profiles. Second, it’s human nature to accentuate our positive attributes while diminishing the negative. Photos can be several years old. So we often get a false image of the ones we desire to potentially meet.
- Free sites are limiting: I’m not convinced things would be much better if I paid, so I’ve stuck to free Internet dating sites. But they’re not completely free. Sites like Plenty of Fish and OurTime allow you to do certain actions for free. But they limit you enough that it can complicate matters. You still have to pay in order to have full access to all of the sites’ functions.
- People are flakey: Back in the old days, we went to physical locations to meet others. We could simply start conversations with anyone we met. If they weren’t interested in having a conversation with us, we could tell by their vibe. In the Internet dating world, we never know who will respond and who won’t. People don’t seem to really know what they’re looking for. Often, they say one thing on their profile, but don’t consistently act like they mean what they say.
- Communication is inconsistent: If someone does respond to your message, then starts another game: How often will messages be sent back and forth? How long will the messages be? When we meet someone in person, we can learn more about the other person in 20 minutes than we can in two weeks of sending electronic messages back and forth.
- It’s too easy to bail out: Sometimes it feels like whoever sends the last message loses. I’ve had people contact me that I’m not interested in. I might participate in exchanging a few friendly messages and then quit. That’s one thing. But I’ve also reached a point in an online relationship where a personal meeting has been proposed and accepted. But before definitive plans are made, the other person stops communicating. In fact, it’s become entirely too easy to simply fade out of online relationships. People just stop responding when they don’t want to pursue the relationship any further. There’s often no explanation, no reasoning, there’s simply no longer any response. Internet dating has simply made it too easy to bail out of something that’s been started. This has even happened to me after several in-person meetings, too.
It’s Too Easy To Detach
Read this article: The Science Of Dating: Why We Should Stop Dating Online.
Have we become so emotionally detached that we no longer feel the need to explain to someone why we no longer want to communicate with them? Has Internet dating made us that insensitive to others’ emotions? Have we become like the machines we use to communicate?
If you use electronic messaging to communicate with a potential dating partner, I encourage you to be human. Don’t just stop communicating when you change your mind about the potential relationship. Send him or her a message and explain to them why you’ve deciding against meeting, or even a second or third date.
Life Is Complicated Enough
Being uncertain of others’ actions only complicates it further. Let’s get back to simple living through the use of simple and direct communication.
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