Household Peeve #5: Spring-Loaded Screen Doors

Let’s add screen doors to the list of household items I can do without. I’m constantly annoyed with them every time I come home with anything in my hands. This household peeve might be my biggest yet.

Notice something about this door? Besides the weird door knob in the middle? There’s no screen door! Whoever came up with screen doors was a genius… when houses had no air conditioning. But if you have AC the screen door is practically pointless.

So you can add screen doors to my household peeve list along with coffee tables, microwaves, table lamps, and rugs.

Why This Might Be My Biggest Household Peeve

When I bought my home there were spring-loaded screen doors on every entry door. You know, the aluminum-style doors with interchangeable screen and glass. Cool! So I thought.

Here’s why this has become a big household peeve for me:

  1. They never stay open: Sure, you can adjust the little doohickey to keep a screen door open. But when you’re in a hurry with a handful of groceries and a kid in tow, you just want to get into the house. You open the screen door and it starts closing before you can unlock the real door. You have to kick it back open as you struggle to get in.
  2. They never close: Then’s there’s the opposite problem. The door doesn’t quite close all the way. Late at night the wind picks up and you get awoken by the screen rattling and banging. You think someone’s snooping outside your house and you have to get up to check on things. 
  3. They bash your shins: In the process of always trying to keep them open or get them to shut you get smacked, whacked, and pinched. From your shins to your fingers, screen doors lead to injuries. 
  4. They just get in the way: When I had my house painted last summer, I had them take of the front screen. You wouldn’t believe the difference. I can easily walk in and out of my house now. Freedom! The two doors in the back still had screens. When I started riding my bike to work more regularly, I quickly realized  that the back screen is nothing but a pain in the butt. It was always in the way when I took the bike out and in from the sunroom. It had to go!

What’s The Point, Really?

As one who lives simple, I’m perplexed with certain things. This household peeve is one of those things. Why do we need a door in front of a door? Is that simple? If you want fresh air, put screens on some of your windows.

Unless you buy a $800 door, the glass really isn’t going to help with winterization. And if you live where you need the extra security, get a security door with bars and no spring.  Remember, screens rip and glass breaks. Furthermore, if you have a nice looking door, the screen just covers it up.

Call me a grouch, but screen doors just irk me.

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James Ewen
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