Don’t Let The Ghosts Of Yesterday Haunt You Today

Halloween can be a fun holiday. Even so, sometimes we have ghosts in our lives that are all too real. You can’t let your past dictate your present. If you have some old ghosts, you need to set them free.

I had a tough childhood. I was raised in an extreme religious cult. That left some physical and emotional scars. I spent much of my 20s in fear. I constantly thought the figures from my past were coming back to force me to return to the cult.

You can lean more about my childhood story in my book, A Train Called Forgiveness.

Ghosts Can Come In Many Forms:

Unwanted Ghosts

Most of us have things happen to us that are out of our control. My parents joined a cult when I was 10 years old. As a kid, I had no choice in the matter. I was exposed to long hours of work, extreme discipline, and indoctrinating lectures. I was intimidated through fear and isolation.

These memories haunted me for years.

It was only when I started to face my past by talking and writing about it that I could break free from the fear that lingered.

If you’ve been a victim, you can get free. If you were abused or mistreated in a situation that was out of your control, you can overcome.

The key is twofold. First, you need to let your deep-seeded emotions out. Writing is an excellent tool for that process. Second, you need to forgive the ones who hurt you. It’s only after you forgive that you’ll truly be able to leave the ghosts behind. 

Ghosts Of Bad Decisions

After I got out of the cult when I was 16, I did some stupid shit. I drank too much and smoked too much pot. Keeping a job became difficult as I continued in a downward spiral. I hung out with some bad people and made some dumb mistakes.  

Although I never broke any major laws, I did a few things that could have put me in jail for a few months. I worried everyday that I’d get arrested for drugs or driving without a license.

But there’s a way to beat the ghosts of bad decisions. It’s simple. Face yourself and commit to change. First, you have to admit that you’ve made poor decisions. Second, you need to commit to a new chapter in life.

In my late 20s, I made a decision to go to college. I used education to replace my ghosts of bad decisions.  

Ghosts Of Bad Relationships

Life can be messy. No one steps into a committed relationship with the intention of letting it go bad. Unfortunately, shit happens. Before you know it, you have ghosts of bad relationships.

In my case, I married someone who wound up creating a lot of stress in my life. Her obsessive-compulsive disorder wound up tearing the marriage apart. I went through a 5-year divorce and custody battle to protect my daughter. It was a tough situation.

These might be the hardest ghosts to remove from our life because you still have feeling for these people. And you also need to work with them for the sake of children. But there are still ways to let go, too. 

First, make sure you create healthy boundaries between you and your ex. Second, don’t try to control other’s behaviors. You can’t. Third, move on. Find new interests. Practice hobbies. Write a book. Socialize. Go out with new people. Don’t let your past control your today. 

Everyday Can Be A Fresh Start

No matter what happened to you and what you’ve done, you can work through it. Making a fresh start isn’t always easy, but you get a new day everyday, to get started.

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James Ewen
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